I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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