fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
