carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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