I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I need a beard to bite.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
