You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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