Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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