i can't believe i had my finger in that
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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