Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
