you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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