Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
