I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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