we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
