I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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