so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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