dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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