So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
