I'm going to jail i love you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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