google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
