You're completely useless in the revolution.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
