He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
