Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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