HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
