dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
