absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
