Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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