hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
