I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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