bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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