..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
