some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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