when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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