you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
