i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize