You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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