making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
