Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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