he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
