I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize