i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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