Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
