5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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