Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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