What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
