It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
high people should be assigned attendants
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
