there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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