I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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