This girl is more easily done than said...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
