everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You ate ashes out of my bong
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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