Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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