hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
