I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
