She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if only i could text you this smell
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
