you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
