I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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