i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
