I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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