But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
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Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Drake has all the answers
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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