tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
