He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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