i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
