I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
