what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
