I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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