I accidentally had phone sex last night
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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