this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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