Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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