Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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