I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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