it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
