you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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