Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize