I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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