fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
